How to Ask for Help Over Email—and Actually Get It

Email: It finds its way into every corner of our lives. There’s personal email. There’s your school email. There are all the messages that come through to your second personal email account (the one you created for every online store you bought something from once that now feels the need to make contact daily). There’s work email. More work email. Somehow even more work email.

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With the rise of remote work stemming from the COVID-19 pandemic, email has taken over even further—especially in your professional life. Even if your team defaults to Slack for quick convos, you’re still going to be sending a lot of requests via email. From asking someone in accounting to run a report for you to pleading with someone in graphic design to help you with the visuals for a proposal, you probably send a lot of emails asking for favors.

But when you’re not making your request in person, it becomes all too easy for the recipient to ignore your message until it disappears into inbox oblivion—or to simply delete it.

So when you need a favor, how do you write an email that will get a response? The short answer is: carefully.

Requesting someone’s assistance over email:

• Allows you to think through your message as you write it so that you’re clear about what you want to ask, why you’re asking, and how you might address questions or concerns that arise from the request.
• Puts all of the important details in one place that’s easy to refer back to.
• Gives the recipient the time and space to respond to your ask in a thoughtful way and doesn’t make them feel put on the spot.
• Makes it easier to communicate with those who might not be working in the same place or at the same time as you—perhaps because they’re in different timezones or one or both of you don’t keep a traditional 9-to-5 workday.

Follow these steps to ask for assistance in an email:

1. Ask yourself if email is the right way to go.

Many requests are completely appropriate to send by email. But before you go ahead and start drafting, ask yourself if a conversation (either in-person, over the phone, or in a video call) would be more beneficial. In email, there’s no tone of voice or emotion that happens naturally in a conversation. Sometimes, sitting across from a person and letting them see your genuine care, your smile, or your dismay—you know, the things that make you human—can sell your message far better than the most thoughtfully crafted email. A conversation might also make it easier for you both to ask questions and ensure you’re on the same page.

2. Use the subject line to your advantage.

OK, now it’s time to get writing. First things first: The subject line is there for a reason. Use it to clearly let the recipient know why you just added another email to their inbox, and you’ll immediately up the chances that they’ll actually open it.

A vague subject line (like “Have a question”) isn’t helpful and can be irritating—and you don’t want someone to open your email in an irritated state of mind when you need something. Instead, be respectful of your recipient’s time, and make it super easy for them to glean why you sent the communication.

“Need your review: Adjustments to program brochure.”

Need some more help? Check out these tips for writing a great subject line for a networking email or when sending your resume.

3. Greet your reader before making demands.

I frequently get emails from students who immediately launch into a request, demand, or question without bothering to first say, “Good morning,” or even simply, “Hi.” You (hopefully) wouldn’t barge into someone’s office and start rattling off demands, so don’t do that by email, either.

You don’t have to launch into a long spiel of pleasantries, but it doesn’t hurt to drop in something personal before launching into your request, such as:

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